How to Set Up Two Friends
4 min read · 中文版
Plenty of good relationships start with an introduction from a friend. You know two single people you think would get on, and you'd like to bring them together. Playing matchmaker is a kind thing to do, but it takes some care, so both people feel comfortable and your friendships don't get awkward.
Think about whether they really fit
Both being single isn't enough. Consider whether their relationship goals, lifestyles, values and cities are a reasonable match.
Check whether each of them is ready to date right now. Someone who has just broken up or is swamped at work may not want an introduction yet.
Ask each of them separately
Ask each person on their own: "I have a friend I think you'd get along with. Would you like to meet?" Tell them a little about the other person and let them decide.
Always get permission before sharing anyone's photos or contact details, and respect everyone's privacy.
Arrange a relaxed first meeting
Start a three-person group chat so they can talk naturally, or invite them both to a get-together with friends. It's less pressure than a formal blind date.
After they've met, let them take it from there. Don't keep asking how it's going, and don't decide anything for either of them.
It's fine if it doesn't work out
Two people not clicking is normal. Tell them both it's completely fine and won't change your friendship.
If one of them wants to stop, help pass that on gently. Don't embellish, and don't push the other person to try again.
Frequently asked questions
Will a failed setup hurt my friendships?
Usually not, as long as you asked first and don't pressure anyone afterwards. When they both know it's fine if it doesn't work, it stays easy.
A friend asks what the other person thought. What do I say?
Pass it on honestly but kindly, without exaggerating or sharing hurtful details. Better still, encourage them to talk to each other directly.
What kind of first meeting works best?
Group get-togethers, a meal or an outdoor activity keep things relaxed. If they both want to, they can arrange a second meeting alone. Our guide to second-date ideas can help.
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