Dating with Appearance Anxiety
4 min read · 中文版
In the mirror you always find something wrong: height, weight, skin. On dating apps everyone looks at photos, which makes it worse. Appearance anxiety is common, but it shouldn't stand between you and meeting people.
Where the anxiety comes from
Photos on social media are mostly selected and edited; comparing your everyday self to them is bound to feel like falling short.
Others rarely judge you as harshly as you judge yourself. How you make people feel, how you talk and your smile stay with them longer than your features.
Photos: real, clear, natural
Choose recent, well-lit photos with a natural expression, and don't over-edit. Heavy editing only adds pressure when you meet.
Ask a friend to take a few everyday shots. Our guide to dating profile photos has more.
On a date, focus on the other person
The more you watch your own flaws, the more nervous you get. Turn your attention to the conversation and to them.
Wear something you feel comfortable and at ease in. Our guide on what to wear can help.
Look after yourself; don't punish yourself
Exercise, sleep and eating well are for feeling better, not for meeting some standard.
If someone mocks or belittles your looks, that says something about them. If anxiety seriously affects your life, seek professional help.
Frequently asked questions
I'm not tall. Should I put my height in my profile?
Yes, be accurate. An honest profile finds people who don't mind in the first place and avoids awkwardness when you meet.
Can I skip photos?
Profiles with photos get more replies. One or two clear, natural recent photos are enough; they needn't be perfect.
My date said I look different from my photos. What do I do?
Recent, lightly edited photos prevent this. If their comment makes you uncomfortable, you can politely end the date.
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