Your First Video Call with Your Partner's Parents
4 min read · 中文版
For many Chinese people in Canada, parents live in China or another country, so the first "meeting the parents" is often a video call. A screen takes away some pressure but adds its own awkwardness: lag, time differences, dialects, not knowing what to say. A little preparation makes the first call go much more smoothly.
Talk to your partner before the call
Ask about their parents' personalities, favourite topics, sensitivities and what they care about most, like your work, status or future plans.
Pick a time that suits both sides and mind the time difference so it isn't too early or late for them.
Setting and clothes
Choose a quiet, well-lit spot with a tidy background, and test your connection and camera beforehand.
Dress neatly, as you would to meet elders, without being too formal.
What to talk about
Greet them politely using the form of address they're used to. Talk about your work and life in Canada, and ask about their health and news.
If they ask about income or marriage, answer sincerely and briefly, or let your partner step in. Don't exaggerate to impress.
Language and wrapping up
If they speak a dialect you don't understand, ask your partner to translate, and learn a simple greeting or two; elders appreciate the effort.
Thank them at the end, and say you'd love to visit in person one day. Afterwards, talk it over with your partner. Our guide to meeting the parents has more.
Frequently asked questions
How long should the first call be?
Twenty or thirty minutes is plenty. Longer calls can stall, so let your partner guide the pace.
What if the conversation dries up?
Talk about your partner's childhood, food from their hometown, or show them the city where you live.
Their parents didn't seem pleased after the call. What now?
Ask your partner what worries them, and give it time. Our guide to disapproving parents can help.
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