Dating Someone Who Has Children
5 min read · 中文版
When you fall for someone with children, the relationship involves more than two people. Their time, energy and priorities will look different from someone without kids. If you're serious about it, understanding these realities helps things go more smoothly.
Understand their priorities
Their children usually come first. Dates may need to fit around the kids' routines, and last-minute changes are more common.
That doesn't mean you don't matter; they're carrying a parent's responsibilities. Understanding and patience will mean a lot to them.
Don't rush meeting the children
Let them decide when you meet their kids, once the relationship is steady and you're both sure it's serious.
Keep the first meeting relaxed. Don't try too hard to win the kids over or act like a parent. Start as a kind, reliable adult.
Respect the children's other parent
They may need to stay in touch with their ex to raise the children together. That's for the kids, and needn't make you jealous or worried.
Never criticise their ex in front of the children.
Be clear about what you want
Ask yourself whether you'd be willing to live with the children one day, and whether you can accept a more complex family.
If you want children of your own, or have particular hopes for the future, talk about it honestly early on.
Frequently asked questions
Their child doesn't like me. What should I do?
Give them time and don't force closeness. Stay kind and consistent, and trust will grow.
They always put the kids first. Will I be left out?
Say honestly what you need, and find time for the two of you together, like when the kids are at school or asleep.
How do single parents feel about dating?
Our guide for single parents explains the concerns they may have.
Ready to meet someone serious?
Join free and get matched with verified Chinese singles in your city — with video calls before you meet.