Dating a Chinese Partner: Gifts and Etiquette
Etiquette differs from family to family and person to person, whatever their background. The safest rule on any date is to ask rather than assume. Here are a few things that help.
Who pays
There's no single rule. Some people expect the one who invited to pay; some prefer to split; many couples take turns. Offering to pay and accepting graciously both work. If it feels awkward, just ask: "Shall I get this one and you get the next?"
Small gifts
Early on, a small, thoughtful gift beats an expensive one. Something connected to a conversation you've had shows you were listening. When you visit someone's family, fruit, tea or pastries are classic choices.
Some people politely decline a gift once or twice before accepting. Offer it again gently rather than taking the first "no, no" literally, and present it with both hands if you like; it's a small sign of respect.
Visiting their home
Many households take shoes off at the door; follow what others do. At a family meal, dishes are often shared at the centre of the table, and elders may be served first. Try what you're offered, compliment the cooking, and offer to help clear up.
The one thing that always works
Ask your partner beforehand what their family is like and what would make a good impression. They'll know far better than any article, and asking shows you care.
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