Chinese Names and How to Address People
Getting someone's name right is a small thing that matters a lot, and Chinese names work a little differently from English ones. Here's how they're put together, how to say them, and what to call your partner's parents when you meet them.
Family name first
In Chinese, the family name comes first and the given name second: in Wang Xiaoming (王小明), Wang is the family name and Xiaoming the given name. Family names are usually one character; given names are one or two.
In Canada, many people write their name in English order (Xiaoming Wang), and many also use an English name, so the same person might be Kevin Wang at work and Xiaoming at home. There's no rule: ask what they'd like you to call them, and use it.
Saying it right
Mandarin names are usually written in pinyin, where a few letters don't sound the way English speakers expect: x is close to "sh" (Xu sounds like "shoo"), q is close to "ch", zh is close to "j", and c sounds like the "ts" in "cats".
Families from Hong Kong, Guangdong or with a longer history in Canada often spell their names in Cantonese, so the same family name can look quite different: 陈 is Chen in pinyin but often Chan in Cantonese, 张 is Zhang or Cheung, and 黄 is Huang or Wong. If you're unsure, ask them to say it and repeat it back; most people are glad you asked.
What to call their parents
Using an older person's first name can feel too familiar. In Mandarin-speaking families, "Auntie" (阿姨, āyí) and "Uncle" (叔叔, shūshu) are warm, respectful choices, and many families are just as happy with Mr. and Mrs. plus the family name. Cantonese-speaking families may use different words, so ask your partner what their parents would like.
Remember that in Chinese families a married woman usually keeps her own family name, so your partner's mother may not share her husband's surname. Another good reason to ask before you meet.
Nicknames between friends
Among friends and colleagues you'll hear names like Xiao Wang (小王, "little Wang") for someone younger and Lao Wang (老王, "old Wang") for someone older or long familiar. They're friendly, but they belong to people who know each other well; wait until you're invited to use them.
More for people who aren't Chinese → How to spot online dating scams →