The Talking Stage: How Long, and What Next?
4 min read · 中文版
You talk every day, meet now and then, and like each other, but neither of you has said it. The talking stage is full of excitement and uncertainty: what do they really think? Am I the only one taking this seriously? It can be lovely, but dragged out too long, it wears people down.
The talking stage is normal
Getting from meeting to a relationship takes time to get to know each other. At this stage, meeting more and observing matters more than rushing to conclusions.
There's no set length; for some it's weeks, for others months. What matters isn't time but whether you're both moving forward.
Signs they're serious
Asking you out, introducing you to friends, talking about future plans and showing up when you need them all show real investment.
If they only message late at night, keep avoiding meeting or won't talk about the relationship, take note.
How to define the relationship
Pick a relaxed moment and say what you feel and hope for: "I really enjoy spending time with you. How do you see us?"
Our guides to becoming exclusive and confessing your feelings can help you prepare.
If they're not ready yet
They may need more time. Agree on a rough time to talk again.
If they never want to commit and you want something serious, consider letting go and saving your time for someone who wants the same.
Frequently asked questions
When is the right time to define the relationship?
There's no fixed rule. Once you've met a few times, like each other and feel comfortable, it's reasonable to talk about it.
Can I get to know other people during the talking stage?
Before you're exclusive, some people do. What matters is being honest with each other, and committing once you're official.
They run hot and cold. Are we still in the talking stage?
They may not have made up their mind. Our guide to mixed signals can help; asking directly works better than guessing.
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