One Wants to Stay in Canada, One Wants to Go Home
5 min read · 中文版
Many Chinese couples in Canada face this sooner or later: one wants to stay, get status and settle; the other wants to go home to care for parents or build a career. Where to live shapes work, family and decades of life. There's no right answer, but the earlier you talk honestly, the fewer regrets.
Share your reasons first
Reasons to stay might be job prospects, lifestyle or children's schooling; reasons to return might be ageing parents, career networks, friends and a sense of belonging.
Hear each other out without rushing to argue. Often it isn't the place itself that matters but a person or a commitment behind it.
List the practical questions
Status and visas, job prospects on both sides, income and living costs, care for parents, and where children would grow up: write them down and compare.
For the actual immigration rules, rely on the Government of Canada's immigration website or a licensed consultant.
Look for a middle path
For example: stay until you have status and then decide, agree to review in a few years, or one of you tries going back for a while.
A staged plan may mean time apart; our guide to long distance across countries can help.
If you can't agree
A grudging concession tends to turn into resentment later. Giving way should be a choice you've thought through yourself.
If you truly want different directions, parting well is responsible too. It doesn't mean either of you loved less, only that you want different lives.
Frequently asked questions
Do we need to discuss this right at the start?
Not on a first date, but early once things are serious. The longer a difference in direction waits, the harder it gets.
My parents want me home and my partner wants to stay. What do I do?
Work out what you want first, then talk to your parents and your partner separately. Our guide to family pressure has ways to approach it.
Is it worth changing my plans for my partner?
Only you can answer that. Our guide to moving for a partner can help you weigh the opportunities and costs.
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