Never Been in a Relationship? Where to Start
5 min read · 中文版
Your friends have all had relationships and you've never had one, so it's easy to worry: is something wrong with me? Will someone mind that I have no experience? Plenty of people haven't dated yet, for all kinds of reasons: busy with study or work, being introverted, or simply not meeting the right person.
Never having dated isn't a problem
Everyone's timeline is different. No experience also means no baggage from an ex, so you can start with an open mind.
You don't need to announce it on a first date or feel ashamed. When you're closer, it can come up naturally.
Widen your circle first
Join hobby groups, friends' get-togethers and community events to get used to spending time with different people, and chances to date will follow.
Dating sites are a good starting point too: chat online first and build confidence talking with people you might date. Our guide to meeting new people has more.
Your first date doesn't need to be perfect
A date is two people getting to know each other, not an exam. Nerves and pauses are normal, and the other person often feels the same.
Prepare a few easy topics and pick a comfortable place, and that's enough. Our guide to first-date questions can help.
Learn and grow as you go
Communicating, expressing yourself and caring for each other can all be learned. When you're unsure, talk it through openly with them.
Don't lower your standards just to be in a relationship sooner. Respect, sincerity and feeling comfortable matter more than experience.
Frequently asked questions
Should I tell them I've never been in a relationship?
Not at the start. If it comes up once things are steady, just be honest. Serious people care more about how you treat the relationship now.
Is thirty too late for a first relationship?
Not at all. Plenty of people start their first serious relationship after thirty. Our guide to dating after 30 can help.
I don't know how to talk to people I'm interested in. What helps?
Start with shared interests and everyday things, ask open questions and listen closely. With practice, you'll relax.
Ready to meet someone serious?
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