Dating When You Live with Roommates
4 min read · 中文版
In high-rent cities like Toronto and Vancouver, many people share with roommates. Once you're dating, having a partner over for dinner or the night involves more than the two of you. Agreeing on ground rules with roommates early avoids a lot of awkwardness.
Tell your roommates first
Before your partner visits for the first time, let your roommates know and ask whether any times don't suit. It's basic respect for a shared home.
If your lease or house agreement has rules on guests or overnight stays, follow them.
Shared spaces
The living room, kitchen and bathroom belong to everyone. Tidy up, don't take them over for hours, and keep affection in shared areas modest.
Mind the noise, especially at night. If your partner uses a lot of utilities and supplies, offer to cover more.
Overnight stays and semi-moving in
The odd night is usually fine, but a partner who is there almost every day is effectively another tenant, and that needs a new conversation with roommates, including costs.
If you plan to live together, finding your own place is the better route. Our guide to what to discuss before moving in can help.
When a roommate brings a partner home
Extend the same courtesy and stay friendly. If it really disturbs you, talk to your roommate privately and calmly about specifics, without blame.
Keep safety in mind: when visitors you don't know are around, look after your valuables and your door.
Frequently asked questions
Can I bring someone I've just met back to a shared home?
Meet in public a few times first and make sure they're trustworthy. That's also being responsible for your roommates' safety.
My roommate's partner is over every day and it bothers me. What do I do?
Find a good time to talk directly and suggest something specific, like a number of nights a week or sharing costs.
My partner doesn't like my roommate. What now?
Hear their reasons, but they don't need to be friends; politeness is enough. If the conflict is serious, think about a different living arrangement.
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